I’ve written a new book about my mission to give everyone in the country a focal by 2032. It shares stories about my crusade as Ireland’s only Guerrilla Gaeilge Activist and hopes to recruit more volunteers to achieve this ambitious aim. All I need now is more than one copy of the book, to help spread my message and gather an army who are driven like me, to focal the nation.
Please see information for the upcoming book launch and recruitment drive in Smock Alley on October 17th and 18th. Similarly, I plan to run for president as a way to spread my message, please see my manifesto below.
Presidential Manifesto
I like to lurk in the bushes waiting until eighty year olds pass me. I then jump out at them and ask them if they’d like a focal.
I am of course, a Guerrilla Gaeilge Activist, and now, with a manifesto to give everyone in the country a focal by 2032, I have decided to run for president.
While it might seem like I’m jumping on the proverbial bandwagon, I have in fact been lurking in the bushes and other places for a number of years.
On June 12th 2023 I remember spending the afternoon sitting at the window of a cafe in Dublin called Little Bird. I was poised with my Cup of Focals, my small colourful espresso cup that I fill with Irish words. From this spot, right by the front door, I was perfectly positioned to ambush customers as they came in and out of the busy cafe.
When a woman in her early eighties passed me, I shook my little cup and asked her the obvious question, “would you like a focal?” She was taken aback, wondering what I was talking about. I explained that I was a Guerrilla Gaeilge Activist, a role responsible for accosting people into speaking a bit of Irish. I shook my cup again and said that she could take a word from it and see if she understood what it meant. If she didn’t, I’d help her to remember and we could even have a quick chat if she was up for it.
She was reluctant. She worried she’d embarrass herself because of the fact that she’d barely spoken Irish since school. “You might surprise yourself” I said encouragingly and after a bit more plamásing, she boldly picked out a word from my cup.
“Sneachta” she exclaimed as she read from the small piece of card and was delighted that she remembered it meant “snow”.
As a way to continue the momentum, I asked her, “an dhearna tú bean sneachta ríamh?”
Excitedly, she said “NO!” and continued carefully saying “ach…dhearna mé…no no…RINNE mé…fear sneachta.”
We then both laughed for 45 seconds.
Imagine that conversation in English.
“Snow”
“Did you ever make a snow-woman?”
“NO! But…I done make…no no…I DID make…a snow-man.”
There’s literally nothing funny about that.
The explanation is simple. Irish is a magical language.
My cup and I have been on the streets since that day in 2023, trying to help as many people as we can to experience the fun and adventure of speaking Irish. Overall, I’ve been on this crusade for more than a decade, beginning in 2015 by performing bilingual comedy shows. The only problem was that when I advertised the fact that they’d include Irish, nobody came. Well nobody except for Proinsias.
Proinsias is the man who attends Irish lessons despite being an Irish teacher himself. Now that he’s retired, he loves nothing more than to sit at the front of the classroom and be the first to put his hand up for every question. He also likes to make jokes that nobody but the teacher understands. All of this combined makes him feel very special all together.
I do not want Proinsias to come to my show. Proinsias heckles me every time I make a grammatical mistake, which is ALL of the time. Agus an fadhb is mó le Proinsias, the biggest problem with Proinsias, is that he has absolutely no sense of humour.
After almost ten years of attracting nobody but Proinsias to my comedy shows, I realised the only way I would succeed in unlocking a new wave of Irish speakers was to go guerrilla.
You may or may not notice that when I write things like ‘an fadhb’ I do not implement the correct use of Irish grammar to indicate the ownership of the noun. The ‘fadhb’ or ‘problem’ belongs to Proinsias and so to correctly use the Tuiseal Ginideach, or Genetive Case in Irish, it is necessary to add a h and say ‘an fhadhb’. I think. It’s probably a good time to stress, that if you understood any of that or indeed noticed the mistake, I might not be the presidential candidate for you.
To legitimately enter the presidential race, all I need is twenty nominations from members of the Oireachtas, the Irish government. Alternatively, nominations from four different County Councils would also qualify my candidacy. So far I have a total of zero nominations. Despite the uphill battle I face, I will remain determined.
I do realise that it’s ambitious, if not also quite egotistical to think I can focal a nation alone. So presidency or no presidency I plan to raise an army. An army of volunteers who are themselves ready to give a focal. An army who are willing to engage in the essential training to become competent Guerrilla Gaeilge Activists (GGA) themselves. It is a complex but rewarding role that requires an essential balance of aggression and sensitivity. To be most effective, a GGA needs to be in touch with the typical psyche of the Irish language learner, the typical insecurities they feel and best methods to encourage them. Not only this, they must not fear causing the occasional traffic jam or heart attack from time to time. Above all the army will have to be committed, even if our presidential campaign fails, to work collectively to unlock this new wave of Irish speakers and achieve our ambitious goal by 2032. Our mission is to bring the language to the streets and work together to help the nation share the magic that speaking the Irish language can bring.
To learn more, please contact Áine Gallagher, ajgallagher1987@gmail.com and see information about her upcoming Guerrilla Gaeilge Activist recruitment drive in Smock Alley on October 17th and 18th.